Wonder

 

God, guide me.

I'm looking for something I don't know if I need to look for it or not

I wonder how I will feel if I experience this

To fill in the questions that have been hanging for a long time

Making the decision to visit is not easy, even though it often comes to mind

There are many scenarios, fears and doubts that surrounds me

Am I afraid to move because I haven't met him?

Is the void that I have worth filling.

I do it quietly, unplanned and alone

Sitting alone in the vehicle, please dont see me right now, in this situation.

I dont want to caught up by people in this state, caught up in dreams, tears and fantasies

Vogue goals,

reaching out someone I cant see

who can't be found.

He's dead before explaining sin and stuff to me

Drowning in sea of tears

Spent my youth searching for excuses and daring to say that I exist

I just run from courage not from reality

I wonder

Who am I

Searching for meaning

In the midst of noise and people

God.

It seems I've been blaming this one person (or sometimes two)

I came here first to be acknowledged and secondly the hardest part was healing wounds

I no longer blame him, the period is over

I haven't been able to build relationships with other men because I don't know who my father is

I don't want to trouble other people in the future with myself like this

I don't blame my mother, I love her so much

Need to know, I don't need money, I can work

Pray me that my business, life and work will run smoothly

Lost soul

I found myself crying over the dead

I saw myself with blank eyes

I accompany myself helpless

I realized I had no purpose

Selasa, 1 Juni 2021

Indramayu-Cirebon